Domestic Partnership, Not For Everybody By: Miguel A. Alen
For years there has been a debate against domestic partnership. To better understand terms we need to understand its literal meaning. A domestic partnership is a relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are neither joined by marriage nor a civil union. Marriage is when to persons legally commit to be united for love, and therefore live together. Love is a key term on marriage that rarely appears on domestic partnership.
Many people are against domestic partnership because it destroys the image of what is marriage. Cristina Gaudier a 25 year old wife says “Domestic Partnership is an unmoral way of marriage.” She stated that when two people are in love and ready, they compromise to live together in marriage. You cannot settle because you are not sure if you should marry. Maybe some people have negative thoughts of domestic partnership because not all domestic partnerships are very successful.
According to Linda J. Waite of University of Chicago the main real reasons people are moving in with their partners is because of financial convenience, to moving out of parents home, next step for marriage or fear to get married. Some people feel that they can get to know better their partner if the live together. Alejandro Alen a former RUM student said that a year before the graduated, he moved in with he’s girlfriend to after two years in the relationship. He took the relationship to the next level, because he said would eventually marry his girlfriend. “It also helps to pay the rent” said Alejandro.
Now Alejandro and he’s wife Melissa are married and have been together four years. They both said that there life’s are going just fine and that they loved each other very much, “I don’t know why I didn’t marry her before” Alejandro added. When asked about what they thought about marriage Melissa replied “Marriage is when two persons are in love and they are certain that they are going to be together forever”. They would have even married before but they said that they where to young “we weren’t ready to complicate our life just yet” said Melissa. They were finishing their bachelor’s degree first so that they could get married after they graduated.
But of course not all couples are has lucky has Alejandro and Melissa. A young couple who also cohabitate didn’t have the same happy ending. George Rivera and Jennifer Villafañe have live together for 4 years and weren’t planning to get married any time soon.
The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reports that just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.
Jennifer is 19 year old student at “La Universidad del Este de Carolina”, (University of the East of Carolina) that has live together with George (boyfriend) since she was only 15 years old. She also was going out with George for one year before she left her parents house. “I needed to leave from home and start being more independent” said Jennifer. They explained that they didn’t want to get married, or at least not yet. But another thing that’s been going on is the fact that Jennifer is two months pregnant, which makes things a little more complicated.
They having a baby would take more time from the two of them. George is 23 year old full time waiter at a restaurant in which they both work aside. And so they are now strongly considering getting married, “we will just make the best out of it” said George.
According to The Institute for the Study of Civil Society today, more than 20% of children are born to cohabiting couples. However, only about one third of those children will remain with both their parents throughout their childhood. That is partly because cohabiting couples who have children are even more likely to break up than childless couples. This could mostly be because the reason that many cohabiting couples who get married it’s because they have a child. They get married not because they are ready, but because they feel they must for the sake of their child. Getting married for the wrong reason could lead the couple to fall into a divorce.
Source: Berthoud, R. and Gershuny, J., editors, Seven Years in the Lives of British Families, London: The Policy Press, 2000, p. 40.
It is safe to say that it isn’t easy to live together with a partner without having any kind of difficulties. Some have made it more responsibly, even though others weren’t has fortunate. It all basically comes to the commitment that couples must do, and the challenges that might be faced in other to make a cohabitating relationship functional.
Some people agree that domestic partnership is not all that bad, it has its benefits. Domestic partnership has had greater results with mature people and it always better if you try not to have any children. It just proofs that not all couples should consider domestic partnership and if so doing it for good reasons and bare the responsibilities it holds.