The truth behind bullies and being bullied in school

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He never expected to see it happen in the same school where he studied.

 Rodríguez went to school every day  like any other student. He was friends with a couple on his grade. They seemed like any other couple, loving and always together. He never expected an act of violence would happen between them. But that all changed one day when the boyfriend started hitting his girlfriend.

Apparently, the couple had had an argument over a competition in school, which ended up in a fist fight.

“I thought they were joking and that they were kidding around” said Rodríguez. But soon realized that was not the case.

After that incident the couple’s relationship fell apart.

According to Rodríguez, the ex-boyfriend continued doing acts of bullying against her and some of her other friends. “Usually I left the bunch and tried not to be around them” said Rodríguez.

He never expected this to happen in his school, where this kind of behavior was not common. “Not in myschool butin other schools in town it is” said Rodríguez.

They had had talks about bullying at the beginning of classes but when this incident happened the students were not allowed to talk about it. Violence inside the school was prohibited but they could not control what was going on outside the school property.

Rodríguez was not convinced the situation was being controlled. “Inside the school yes, but things outside the school would be the same.”

The bullying continued for a while. Then the parents had to intervene, until the school expelled the student who was bullying the girls.

This type of behavior is common in bullying according to Psychologist Bernadette Delgado.

 Besides the use of force to inflict physical and mental abuse to a person, Delgado said “It is a consistent behavior that is sustained through a prolonged period of time.”

Many people think that the bully is a person that looks for comfort in being abusive to other people. And that a bad environment in their homes causes them to seek out violence. But experts believe that bullies do not necessarily have low self-esteem.  

“People think that a bully has a low self esteem, but a bully is a person who has high self esteem and high self-confidence” said Delgado.

Most of the time the bully thinks that the victim deserves the violence inflicted upon him or her.

There will always be a factor that gives the bully power over the victim. Those who have low self-esteem tend to be the target for most bullies. Those who are solitaire students that do not have many friends are also vulnerable to getting bullied.

There are different types of bulling other than physical and verbal damage. Most people tend to generalize the word bullying with student getting into fights. But there are other types of bulling out there.

Some of these are being excluded from activities on purpose, destroying property on purpose, threatening to harm, etc. People do not hear about them so often and in comparison with the other types of bullying these are “less traditional” as they are less common.

As a result, the bullying can have a negative effect on the victims. The victims of bulling can develop “depression or anxiety” as mentioned in the web site stopbullying.gov “the issues may persist to adulthood”. They can also lower academic grades and in some cases the victims could drop out of school.

Some consequences for the victim of the bullying is that the person suffers depression. Because of all the abuse the person separates himself from other people even though those people are not bullies. This makes the victim even more vulnerable.

Some consequences for the bully are that he or she can be expelled from school or punished by law. In addition, “he or she can become an abuser with his spouse, kids, and people he or she may work with in the future.” said Delgado.

“A high percentage of bullies are people who eventually become abusive to others in adulthood” said Delgado.

All of these factors can lead to a person who can develop a negative behavior further in life. It can change the personality of both the bully or the person being bullied.

Rodríguez was not affected by the incident. “The school expelled the student who hit my friend” said Rodríguez. “though, there was no talk given by the school to the students or parents after the incident”.

But he decided to get informed about bullying with his parents. “I searched for exact information with my parents”.

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This is what Rodríguez might have witnessed in school.

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