How a mother is affected when her son moves out of her side to other country for causes of a better education?

December 11, 2013

By: Pedro Olivencia

It is a mixed of feelings because has a mom you feel proud, happy and worried at the same time said Maribel Guerrero, mother of two children that when out of Puerto Rico looking for better choices.

One of them Bernardo Toledo, a student on his fourth year in Washington majoring in biology. He is the youngest of her children, has everyone knows the last son is more attached with his mother and he was not the exception said Maribel. Bernardo has hearing problems and when he first came to Maribel with the idea of going to the States looking for a better education was shocking she said. He alone get all the information needed, he even bring a scholarship that the university gives to him by his condition.

This is the part that a mother needs to understand that her child is no longer a little kid and he is a man. This was really hard for me, but I am proud of him and he is going to get far, sixth sense of a woman says Maribel looking confident and laughing.

My other son is José Toledo this one was really hard to get him on the right direction starting with the choice of what he was going to study or major in.  He is a good kid but likes to party a lot she said looking concern. He is the kind of son that a mom will lost her nights thinking that something could happen to him.

She even remembers one night that he was parting on San Juan, PR and she could not sleep thinking of him and suddenly the phone rings and Nardy, Maribel’s husband, answer. It was José saying I am fine but I need you to pick me up in Barceloneta, PR because me and the guys had an accident.  At that moment I started thinking the worst, but thanks to God he was okay said Maribel.

Then when Nardy, father of Bernardo and José, and Maribel get to Barceloneta José already have resolved everything and was waiting for them. At the way back, mom I tired of all this, referring to the party and the waste of time he had going in his life, said José. In that precise moment I start thinking to myself he is just saying this to safe himself from the punishment said Maribel.  Nardy very mad looks back in the car and said to him that things like that were demonstrated with acts and not words, only cowards do the talking he was doing.

I think this day impact him because from this day forward he was not the same and start thinking on his future said Maribel. That’s why José right know is working on a company  in Miami, Florida as an musical engineer producing music to do commercial, he even realized a zumba Cd told me yesterday said Maribel.

She talks to them three or four times a week, they tell her about the good things that had happened in their week and even the bad ones. Sometimes Nardy and Maribel visit them or Bernardo and José came to PR when they can. Such as any college student or a working adult.

For mom was a surprise that I decided to study at the United States because she does not expect a notice of this magnitude from me said Bernardo, student at Galluet University on Washington. He studied on Sagrado Corazón- PR, but in search of better opportunities finds a university on Washington that offers his major in biology and gives him a scholarship by his condition. Bernardo has herring problems and has to use a headset at all times. Galluet is a university for people that have hearing problems like Bernardo or even worst.

Mom was worried I think she was amazed because I was decided and determinate to take the bridles of my life. Some people thing that you go to the States to get the independence of your parents or to escape your present, but is more than that. I can prove in the simple fact that I see my parents three to four times a year and still talk to them every week. It is difficult for everyone in the family nucleus in a special way to a mom, I was and am the most attached one in the house towards my mother, said Bernardo with emotion.

It is funny do because mom was the most affected one at the moment of my departure but at the same time the she manage to make me feel at home in PR like if I had never left . One time I came back from Washington and she organized a surprise party with all my friends, but her happiness was bigger she stay awake and join the party has any of my friends not sufficient with that decided to stay awake until the last one of my friends left, believe me it was late narrates Bernardo.

We maintain a good communication besides there is not a physical contact to frequent like other relationships of mother and son. But I can tell that the bonding between my mother and I it is better than most of the other relationships, because she plays the role of a mother, a friend and even a confident some times said Bernardo.

In my case I do not know if she was happy or sad of my departure, because she worried a lot by my fault said José. He first studied at University of Puerto Rico- Mayagüez for two years than move to the Inter-American University of Puerto Rico- Arecibo. Also he is the oldest son in the house and went first than his brother to the States and graduates from Full Sail University, Florida.

When he decide to study at Full Sail and gives the notice to his parents, they start thinking this was another crazy idea from him, said Maribel. Finally they accepted and know I think it was better for me to finish my studies at the states because in PR probably I would not finish them, said José.

José shared an anecdote of his youth time, mom always has been an important figure for me. One time I had an accident, when mom arrive at the place, she was very afraid, nervous and crying until she saw that her son was find and stable. That precise moment mark my life because not even know at the my age I have felt the frustration that invaded my body that day, that is why I need to speak with her in some moment of my week,  he said moved by his feelings.

The communication between me and her is good. One time I was doing a commercial for sprite, in which Lebron James participated, when I talk to her excited by my success she start laughing because she does not know who was Lebron James. I mean, who does not know Lebron! The beast of all is that she was excited with me without knowing who was the center of my commercial. That is my mom, said José.

Toledo-Guerrero family reunited at the holidays.

Toledo-Guerrero family reunited at the holidays.

Maribel and Nardy enjoying from a good evening.

Maribel and Nardy enjoying from a good evening.


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